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Has the New York Times Been Compromised by Aliens?

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Aliens have been in the news a lot recently. We’re not quite sure if they’re messing with us, if it’s the Chinese or Russian military, or if it’s good, old-fashioned angels and demons fighting over our immortal souls.

If there is a greater truth out there, it appears the Paper of Record knows about it.

On Tuesday, a headline appeared over at the New York Times that raised a lot of eyebrows as well as concerns about just how alone we really are in the universe.

What’s happening at the NYT pic.twitter.com/Ff5L24zZNk

— Jon Christian (follow for chaos) (@Jon_Christian) June 8, 2021

The conspiracy theorist in me (the alien kind, not the Rebekah Jones kind) would like to believe that the Times has been compromised by an extraterrestrial enemy and that one brave whistleblower was trying to alert us to its presence. Unfortunately, the enemy caught wind of this brave whistleblower and shut it down quickly. An Internet archive shows the story that went live was incomplete and has the appearance of a joke post.

(Screenshot via archive.today)

Now, the reasonable person will likely admit that this was a joke that was accidentally published, and someone out there is super embarrassed that it happened. It’s a blip in the Times’ storied history and everyone will move on. I, however, choose not to follow the crowd on this one, as a lot of the pieces really start to fall into place when you consider the source.

If the New York Times were not compromised by hostile aliens, then why would they be so adamantly anti-gun and anti-Second Amendment, and be openly pro-confiscation? The answer is obvious: they want us disarmed so their overlords can begin the invasion. Likewise, they support Democrats who are almost consistently bad when it comes to foreign policy, and they routinely attack Republicans who are too pro-military. This would explain the quick and decisive actions taken in response to the controversial Tom Cotton op-ed from last year.

Incidentally, one has to assume that columnist Nick Kristoff is either an alien or works directly for them, as he has

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